Final Blog: A Reflection of Reality

Bryan Agliam

CHID Study Abroad 2k14

Third Andresen/Leah Panginiban

August 11, 2014

Final Paper/Blog: A Refection of Reality

“Welcome to Seattle-Tacoma International Airport,” the pilot announced in the plane and from there I knew I was back to “reality”. From here, it goes back to budget meals everyday, manicure and pedicures when you have extra money, one drink at the bars, and being really cautious of your money. I have to go back to work on August 12^th, and I am for sure dreading to go in just because I am so used to living a lavish life in the Philippines—thus, worry free about having to work to have money. As I reminisce about the Philippines, I come to realize how “good” we have it in Seattle and how much we take things for granted. 

There were many questions and curiosities that were brought up by students that justify my last statement and really frustrated me during the trip. I will not state certain quotes that will put people on blast, however, comparing the United States and the Philippines and expecting the living situations to be the same, to me, comes off as being completely ignorant—thus, not having to think about how the things they say could affect people from the country and the country in itself.

Fortunately, I was able to really learn from these comments and complain from students and really change the way I think about how I live my life in America and how I would react to being in different worlds. For example, going to Boracay and driving to the hotel, I thought about how the locals feel about seeing all these tourist coming in their town and staying there for vacation. There are all these hotels that are being built in order to accommodate the entire tourism epidemic causing the local people to be in the outskirts of the city. There, they lack the amount of proper resources they need to live such as water, electricity, and the conveniences of grocery stores. I highly doubt many of us students thought about how the local people live simply because Boracay has been advertised in a way to hail tourist such as ourselves, therefore, we spent the time in Boracay lavishly.

Along with all the histories I have learned about the Philippines during the trip, more importantly I learned how to re-interpret my thoughts and behavior while in the Philippines. I have shared some of my thoughts and experiences in the previous paragraphs and it only relates to the theory of empire/colonization in a way to make sense of the conditioning many students have inherited. Many of us are well conditioned not to think about certain things such as the local people living in Boracay or simply think about why certain parts of the world have floods and more pollution than us in the United States. In addition, the history of Boracay being a place of no electricity and no water to making it once on the top ten of being one of the greatest tourist places in the world, we are conditioned not to think about how it made it but rather know that it holds a great beach with blue water and white sand.

To steer away from the event in Boracay, I also thought about people’s lifestyle here in America and how I could interpret it in a way to realize how an individual live in relation to the Philippines. People consider Philippines to be a third world country, however, I disagree with the following reasons. Being in the Philippines for six weeks, I have seen many things that are present in America that are present in the Philippines. A good majority of people has cellphones, cars, money to eat at restaurants—hence, the amount of people at Jollibee and Starbucks. Yes, we could all agree that all the things we see is related to colonialism, however, the people that has these material things are those who works hard for them. My uncle once said, “Those who are lazy, are the those who don’t have motorcycles.” Despite the living conditions in the Philippines and the things you hear about the country lacking job opportunities, somehow, people are able to afford motorcycles, cellphones and its prepaid load. I become so humble because, I, being the Balikbayan [people who are in the states that return home], we can’t even afford to buy a car yet alone our motorcycle is from 1997 after my parents got married. I included this paragraph because it reminded me of Dr. Third Andresen when he shared that he owns a house and two Mercedes Benz. He goes on to say, “It is not a sign of being cocky, but rather showing what I have worked for.” I believe it is very important to think about why Dr. Third Andresen said that and I have came up with having a Filipino mentality. It goes back to my parents when they continually told me, “If you work hard, you could have whatever you want” and it’s quite true to some extent. And this is what I mean when I say re-interpreting the way people live to see a connection with how people live in the Philippines and the mentality of the people.

The story of Dr. Third Andresen also highlights the theory of assimilation and acculturation where, in order to be [to be seen] successful you must become somewhat assimilated. A high-end car such as a Mercedes Benz, a person inherits a higher social status versus having a typical Honda. It is also the same in the Philippines, where Abercrombie, Hollister, Aeropostale, clothing brands that we see here in America, places a higher social status on people wearing them. Unfortunately, here in America, at times when people see people of color or people who they think shouldn’t be driving a car like a Mercedes Benz, they are then classified as drug dealers or “Thugs”—whereas in the Philippines, they may be drug dealers also, but they are mostly seen as the wealthy people. We could definitely see a difference in culture and beliefs from the two countries.

I will also add in the theory of colonial mentality that is clearly happening in the Philippines. As we concluded with our final projects, we have discovered that music and art is influenced from the United States. According to Boo, one of the skateboarders, he goes on to say, “Graffiti and skateboarding comes from watching YouTube and the states. Skateboarding recently became a style because we watch people from California do it.” From his sentence alone, he tells us it’s from California and the use of one of the biggest social media site in America and perhaps the world, YouTube. Also, with the group presenting on skin whitening, the desire to have white skin because it shows higher status and confidence, resembles colonial mentality. Filipinos continually want to look American through their skin and clothing brands such as those stated above in the previous paragraph. The changes in the education system of University of the Philippines Dilliman were made in order to reflect the educational system in America. It also goes for the University of Ataneo, where the English language has become their primary language in the school setting. The amount and varying kinds of alcoholic drinks that we serve at our bars in America has made it to the bars in the Philippines. Not only has it become the material things, but so has political decisions. When I was at Illocos Norte, Philippines visiting my family, they have told me how laws have changed specifically in the disciplinary actions we give to our child. When I was growing up in the Philippines, I received punishment through violence (spanking), at home and at school. However, they have changed it now so that it fits the regulations of America where the parent would serve jail time if Child Protective Services (CPS) were to find out. You could see how colonial mentality continues to evolve in the Philippines and mostly from the American ways. This is due to the history of colonization from the United States and its close ties with them now. Little do we know, United States and Philippines are in a middle of an agreement discussion where American soldiers will occupy military bases in the Philippines that was once occupied by the United States. History and close ties within the two countries and social media in addition, really keeps this colonial mentality rolling.

For this program, we were assigned groups to work with on our assignments and projects. First off, I would not trade my group for anything. I feel like my group was diverse and equally intelligent that each and everyone brought a different perspective and talent to the group that everyone benefited from. Everyone brought different experiences that we shared amongst each other in order to really get to know each other and find commonalities not only within the group but also with the Philippines and its people. For that matter, it was impossible for conflict to arise within the group. If there were something that everyone did not agree on in terms of how an assignment should be, we would talk it out as a group and come to an agreement right away. Like I said, it was almost impossible to have conflict just because everyone got along so well and agreed on the things we did.What types of decisions were made? I don’t really know how to answer that in a way to really pinpoint certain things. However, I am here to say that my group worked as a team. Like Kuya Frank said, “ T.E.A.M—Together We Achieve More,” and that’s exactly how it was. Every decision that was made, we did as a team. All decisions, thoughts, and ideas had to go through each and every one of us. If one disagrees with something, we would have a group discussion and from there we would find a middle ground so everyone was highly satisfied—thus, no one got left behind. I remember for our last project I asked what our topic was going to be and it was on street art. I am not a very artsy person in general so I disagreed and wanted to do something else. I remember Savannah telling me how much Monica loves art and how much connection and work she has done already with art. I remember Louie and Monica telling me about the plans they were thinking about and from there I was not only lured by dominating numbers within the group but the ideas my group came up with.

My group brought their own skills to the table and that’s how we played our cards. As we would assign roles, we not only ask what people want to do but also what they were comfortable doing. After assigning tasks to group members, there was always a closing question before we broke off: “Everyone good with that?” It was to reassure our group that everyone felt comfortable with their assigned task. I know I said I am not a very artsy person but I put together all of our visual representations (video/PowerPoint). The rest of my group members divided the work either by readings and sections that we would present. By dividing, it did not mean that no other team member could not edit or put in ideas. Like me, I was in charge of visual representations, however, people chose different pictures and layouts that I would have to put together. Also, I would like to add that, other than working on assignments, I served as a leader to the group in terms of being a local director almost. It is understood that I know my ways around metro Manila and knowing how to speak the language was a bonus so as far as navigating my group around town, I was a leader in that.

I am forever grateful for my intelligent, hardworking, respectful group. If it weren’t for them, our works would not have been a success. I am also forever grateful for this program—one, because I got the opportunity to participate in it, two, programs like this creates positive changes within individuals that we all hope they bring back to where they came from, and three, it gives a chance for people to really meet their identity if not for the first time, the second of third. Lastly, I would like to thank our four staff, Dr. Andresen, Mama Leah, DJ Frank1, and King Selfie Body [Rich] Chard—without them this trip would not have been possible. The experiences, the friendships, the connections, the relationships, the people, and the pictures will never be forgotten. Words can’t express how grateful I am.

Final Reflection: The Beauty of the Philippines

The CHID Philippines: Knowledge Construction and Social Action Program was definitely an eye opening experience. To me, it was like finding missing pieces of yourself that you never really knew was missing in the first place. In learning about American colonialism in the Philippines, I felt a combination of mixed emotions as a person of Filipino decent as well as a citizen of America. It was initially me coming back to a familiar place, realizing how unaware I was to my own cultural heritage/history, and finally leaving with greater perspective and sense of pride that I did not have before coming to the Philippines. 

The readings, class lectures, and field trips allowed me to hear the Filipino perspective not provided to me prior to college. I learned about the deception of America and the ways they sought to colonize the Philippines for their own benefit. After the Philippines had fought hard to gain independence from Spain (their colonizer for over 300 years), America secretly set up a staged battle with Spain to occupy and eventually buy the Philippines from Spain for 20 million dollars (Andresen, 2012, p. 73). In order to justify their actions, the U.S. deemed the Philippine’s republic unfit for self-government and reinforced themselves as friendly allies to the Filipinos through the Benevolent Assimilation Proclamation. The Filipinos fought back in the Philippine-American War, but eventually the U.S. took full control of the archipelago and would implement their education policies that would be a powerful force in shaping the way Filipinos viewed themselves (Illeto, 1998, p. 4).

The Philippine-American War was labeled in text books as “the splendid little war” and had little to no acknowledgment of the many deaths and torture tactics by the Americans. America was constantly framed as the Philippine’s savior from Spain and their solution to becoming civilized people, which perpetuated a colonial mentality (Ileto, 1998, p.14). Colonial mentality is defined as an internalized oppression in which there is an “automatic and uncritical rejection of anything Filipino and an automatic and uncritical preference for anything American” (David and Okazaki, 2006, p. 241). Today we still see the imprint of America in the Filipino culture, which has resulted in damaging consequences for the Philippine society.       
There are many social and economic problems affecting the Philippines that was mentioned in our readings and further explained in our lectures/field trips(i.e. poverty, displacement, loss of indigenous culture, racial discrimination, abuse of Overseas Filipino Workers, destruction from natural disasters, and more). Many of these problems result from the legacy of Spanish and American colonization and continue to exist because of the colonial mentality instilled into Filipino citizens through education. Filipinos are taught to favor/rely on America instead of having Philippine nationalist values. Constantino (1982) says, “When some of our more intellectually emancipated countrymen spearhead moves for nationalism, for nationalism of this or that endeavor, do the majority of Filipinos support such moves? No, there is apathy because there is no nationalism in our hearts which will spur us to protect and help our own countrymen first” (Constantino, 1982, p. 185). These social issues and lack of confidence in the Philippines allows the country to remain in its third world status, but also affects Filipino's and Filipino American's psychological well-being.

By seeing and learning about the many societal problems in the Philippines and how it connects to colonial mentality, I began to realize that these problems are also my problems. I am fortunate in that I do not have to face the many hardships that some of the Philippine population may face every day, but what I have learned is that these problems have the potential to hinder all Filipinos, regardless of class, religion, language, gender, or nationality. Filipinos are all products of colonial mentality at some level and have been faced with manifestations of colonial mentality. For example, even the psychological well-being of Filipino Americans are affected by Colonial Mentality(CM), which aid in perpetuating many of these social/economic problems in the Philippines. A study by David and Okazaki (2006) found that “CM is passed on to later generations though socialization and continued oppression and that it negatively affects the mental health of modern day Filipino Americans” (David and Okazaki, 2006, p. 241). To help solve these problems, the Filipino citizens need pride in themselves and their country so more people can work together to properly address these issues realistically. As a Filipino American and a person of color, I believe we need to understand that these are our problems too and we need to educate ourselves so that we can also empower and support the Philippines. Throughout the program, I was inspired by many people who advocate resistance from colonial influence and those who helps uplift the Philippines as a whole.

An aspect of Filipino culture that this study abroad program exposed me to was the work of local artists in forms of paintings, films, clothing, dance, and music. I found all these arts to function as pieces of educational work as well as showcasing Filipino pride. Local street art and music was also a way to give voice to the voiceless and express political messages important to the people. The indigenous art was a way to break the stereotype that Filipinos were “uncivilized” and celebrated the indigenous culture prior to the colonial powers that occupied the Philippines. My favorite artistic symbol, used in Kidlat Tahimik’s Mababangong Bangungot, was the jeepney. The jeepneys were originally military vehicles of the United States, but today have been transformed into colorful reflections of Philippine culture and have become a part of the Filipino way of life (Tahimik, 1977). Whenever I see a jeepney now, I recognize that it was a tool in American colonialism, but I am proud that Filipinos have taken these vehicles of the past to benefit the Filipino people through a means of transportation. Jeepneys to me are an artistic form of resistance and empowerment.

Lastly, our final project was a way to connect all we have learned and to do further research on a topic that interests us in accordance to our program. My group consisted of Lalaine, Mary Jane, Ben, Catalina, and myself. The prevalence of Skin Whitening Advertisements and Products emphasized in the Filipino culture led our group to investigate more on the Skin Whitening phenomenon and perceptions of beauty in the Philippines. No conflict arose as we decided to split up the work according to our individual strengths. Catalina, Lalaine, and I conducted interviews, Mary Jane and Ben focused on the research on Skin Whitening, and we all contributed in incorporating/connecting key points from our readings to our final presentation. Discussion within our group was really important in our success. We talked about the phenomenon of Skin Whitening, sharing our own perspectives, and interpretations and connections to our readings.

We decided to conduct interviews to hear the different perspectives on Skin Whitening and perceptions of beauty. We interviewed with two University educated students (Lance Valenzuela, a student at Philippine Women’s University and Lawrence Joy Dela Fuente, an alumni of the University of the Philippines Diliman) as well as a variety of people in public venues such as the mall, groceries, and coffee shops. Our group decided to title the project “White Out” because in looking at billboards and TV commercials, we saw a common emphasis of lighter skin and European features. There is little to no representation of how majority of the Filipino population looks like, such as having darker skin. After gathering all our research and interview material, we created our thesis for our project: “Skin Whitening is a physical manifestation of American occupation of the Philippines and colonial mentality. It is one of the top selling markets in the Philippines, but many Filipinos are unaware of the harmful health effects. Though many are unaware, there still exists Filipinos that advocate for self-love and national pride.” In our presentation we featured our video with our interviews as well as real Skin Whitening commercials in the Philippines.

What I learned in doing this project is that Skin Whitening is not just a phenomenon in the Philippines, but very common for people of color around the world. In learning about colonialism, we are given the historical context of the prevalence of Skin Whitening. Ontal (2002) says, “The hierarchy of color, introduced during the Spaniards' reign, was institutionalized under the Americans" (Ontal, 2002, p. 130). Ontal's (2002) reading also makes comparisons to the experience of African Americans and Filipinos to show that people of color share in common the struggle of racial discrimination and mistreatment from America. Skin Whitening continues to be a top industry in the Philippines because of education policies that teach students to favor a Eurocentric perspective, in which light skin is associated to being more civilized and of higher status (Andresen, 2012, p. 77). In our interviews, we see this favoring of white skin in people's perceptions of beauty. 

Skin Whitening is also an example of an industry that benefits America more than Filipinos. Even though the Skin Whitening industry creates jobs for Filipinos, it also comes at the cost of distorting the Filipino perception of beauty and potentially causing health risks. We learned that a main health concern in Skin Whitening products is the “hidden mercury content, and thus mercury poisoning, depending on individual susceptibility” (Mendoza, 2014, p. 220). As most of these Skin Whitening companies are American owned (i.e. Palmolive, Vaseline, Olay, and Dove), America is able to obtain the monetary benefits and maintain their power while potentially putting Filipinos and other people of color at risk. We also found that advertising commonly guarantees no harmful effects and that many consumers do not double-check to see if the ingredients are hazardous (Mendoza, 2014, p. 236).  

Something that I observed in our interviews was that those who are considered to be more educated had a better understanding of the connection between Skin Whitening and the history of Spanish and American colonialization. Additionally, their perceptions of beauty resisted the stereotypical beauty standards that Skin Whitening advertisements promoted. According to our research, those who are more educated are less likely to use skin whitening products (Mendoza, 2014, p. 228). Our interviews with those that had been exposed to a transformative education (education that challenges mainstream academic knowledge and teaches people about their own ethnic history) reinforced the claim of the benefits that transformative education produce in students. These benefits include creating non-Eurocentric perspective, increase self-esteem, respect for diverse cultures, and decrease of deficit thinking (Andresen, 2012, p. 82). As more Filipinos are educated in the Filipino perspective of history, this increases chances for Filipinos gaining a better pride in their country and greater esteem in themselves. This empowerment of the Filipino people is an essential first step in helping the Philippines from corruption and raising awareness to all that the Philippines contributes to the world. 

Overall, I think the most that changed in my thinking is my perception of education. I learned how the implementation of the American education system was an intentional plan, tool, and weapon to colonize and Americanize the Philippines. I still believe education is very important in spreading knowledge, but it is also important to be critical in reading any type of medium whether it be a text, movie, or a piece of art. One should not absorb and believe that anything and everything is the absolute truth at first glance. One must question/find out the context of the message and background information of the artists, authors, or producers of the content.

I have been to the Philippines before this study abroad, but I have always felt disconnected and out of place whenever I visited the country that is supposed to be my homeland. But after this trip, I can honestly say I feel more connected to the Philippines than ever before. This trip was important to me because learning about the history of the Philippines felt essential to grasping my own identity. Identity is defined as having a “capacity for self-reflection and the awareness of self” (Andresen, 2012, p. 67). Through hearing the perspective of both my classmates and the Filipino citizens we met along the way, I was able to gain a better understanding of who I am and my place in the world. I was able to de-construct my miseducation and become aware to the privilege I have as a Filipino American. I would like to thank Dr. Third Andresen, Leah Panganiban, and advisers for giving me this opportunity to see so places I’ve never been to, to hear different perspectives from a spectrum of people, to see the beauty of the Filipino culture, and to gain a greater awareness of myself.

Works Cited

Andresen, T. (2012). Knowledge construction, transformative academic knowledge, and Filipino

            American identity and experience, In E. Bonus, E. & D. Maramba, (Eds.) The “other”

students: Filipino Americans, education, and power. Charlotte, NC: IAP.

Constantino, R.  (1982). Miseducation of Filipinos. In I In A.V. Shaw & L.H Francia,

      Vestiges of war. (pp.  177-192). New York:  New York Press.

David, E.J.R., & Okazaki, S. (2006). The Colonial Mentality Scale (CMS) for Filipino

Americans: Scale construction and psychological implications: A review and recommendation. Journal of Counseling Psychology 53 (1), pp. 1–16.

Ileto, R.C. (1998). The Philippine-American War, Friendship and Forgetting. In Shaw,

A.V. & Francia, L.H. Vestiges of war. (pp. 3-21). New York: New York Press.

Mendoza, Roger Lee. “The Skin Whitening Industry in the Philippines.” Journal of Public
Health Policy (2013): 219-38. PubMed. Web. 19 June 2014. 

Ontal, R.G., (2002). Fagen and other ghosts: African-Americans and the Philippine-

            American war. In A.V. Shaw & L.H Francia, Vestiges of war. (pp. 118-133). New

York: New York Press.

Tahimik, Kidlat (1977) “Mababangong Bangungot” (film). 

My Journey: A Final Blog

Before this trip, the Philippines was a place that existed mostly in my mind and my dreams. I’d only traveled to the islands once as a small child, and by adulthood I had only small, faint memories of it (the street outside our compound, our gate, our statue of Mary, the potato stand at the mall…). The islands existed only in these memories, and in whatever I’d learned from the news or from family gossip and stories. Spending two months here has changed my ideas and perspective of the country to the point that it’s truthfully hard for me to remember how I really perceived of it before. I’m still here in the Philippines, and therefore my reflection differs from my classmates’. While it is hard to process and reflect on an overseas excursion whilst you are still living it, in no way do I regret my decision to stay an extra month. Staying with my family for a relatively substantial period of time offers me a new perspective that merely studying abroad could not give me, and I am blessed and grateful for this experience. While the Study Abroad program allowed me to visit important historical landmarks, travel with a group of students, and sight-see all over the islands, living a more relaxed, quiet life with my family allows me to see things me more from the perspective of Filipinos themselves. Although as a Fil-Am, I will never truly understand their perspective, talking with them and experiencing their daily activities helps me to gain a new perspective I did not have a chance to see through studying abroad alone. Because of that, this reflection is upon both my study abroad experience and my independent travel.

A secluded beach in southern Mindanao! Thankful I got to travel independently to the island to visit family.

In The Philippine-American War: Friendship and Forgetting, Reynaldo Ileto ( ) describes a phenomenon called “utang na loob,” or “inner debt” that Filipinos feel towards America. While many of reflected on this debt, experiences with family gave this phrase a whole new outlook. While discussing family (whether distant or close) this phrase sometimes comes up, usually when discussing the young troublemakers of the family. It is said, “Walang utang na loob siya,” or basically “They have no inner debt.” When I asked for more clarification on the meaning (as I recognized the phrase), I learned that not having utang na loob meant that the person was perceived as very ungrateful. As I have learned through experiences with my family, gratefulness is extremely crucial to have, especially when you are of “low status/rank,” meaning you are younger. Being perceived as ungrateful is very shameful in Filipino culture. Utang na loob is an important phrase and concept in Filipino culture, which helped me to understand the importance of the Philippines’ “inner debt” towards America – perhaps those that lack the utang na loob towards America are perceived negatively because they are “ungrateful.”

Ileto also speaks about how American colonialism is viewed. He says:

“Why is it is difficult to speak in terms such as invasion, resistance (so readily applied to the Japanese in World War II), war, combat, colonialism, exploitation, discrimination?” (Ileto, 1998, pg. 3)

This has served truthful in my discussions with my cousins about colonialism and outside influence upon the Philippines.  When the discussion is about America, it’s brought up that America “modernized” the islands and brought them the importance of English. When it comes to Spain, they brought culture and Christianity. When it comes to Japan, however, the tone changes. Personal attacks are made on the Japanese themselves. One of my cousins went so far as to say, “Ugh, I hate the Japanese!” Ileto and my experiences with my Filipino family taught me that it’s not just colonization – it’s who the colonizers were. To say Filipinos accepted their culture of colonization is false. While in my experiences, yes, many Filipinos look up to Spain and America, they freely call out the Japanese colonization of Spain. It is interesting to note that Spanish and American imperialism, both Western powers, receive less criticism than Japanese imperialism.

One thing I learned about that I never really understood before studying abroad is skin whitening as part of colonial mentality. Seeing its true scope is something that I’ll never forget. Prior to this trip, I had done projects on skin whitening before – but I studied South Asia, not the Philippines. I did not realize how big of a thing skin whitening is in the Philippines. While I grew up seeing skin-whitening lotions in Filipino-American stores and saw light-skinned mestizo actors/actresses in Filipino media, and even though I did suspect it was because of the desire to be like the colonizer, I did not understand how ingrained skin-whitening culture is in the Philippines. I was fortunate enough to grow up with parents who did not raise me to put light skin on a pedestal. My eldest brother, considered “dark” both in the States and here, was never encouraged to lighten his skin or seen as unattractive for his dark skin, while my younger brother (the lightest of us) was never praised for his light skin. During summer, whenever my family would “get dark,” my parents were far more concerned about skin cancer and staying hydrated than they were about my skin turning dark. My mother is unlike her siblings (the ones in the islands and the ones in the States) in that she doesn’t try to make herself lighter. Some of my other family is much different. One of my uncles here is actually in the business of selling skin-whitening products and encourages his daughters (along with the rest of our family) to use the products. His daughters take a special vitamin daily for whitening and also use whitening soap and lotion on a daily basis. Other family members have expressed shock and a little bit of aversion at how “dark” my upper-body has gotten during my time here. One of my aunts even had me try a skin-whitening body mask during a salon trip. (Yes, I did try it. It was right after a discussion on utang na loob and I know I would be perceived as ungrateful had I refused.) Even at the small market at University of Philippines, there was an aisle just for skin-whitening products. Television and radio ads here also constantly feature skin-whitening products. I believe that my privilege as an American kept me ignorant to how deep-rooted and expansive the problem of skin-whitening in the Philippines is, and traveling here really thrust me into a new world – in America I’m brown yet here I’m light. And as I do get “dark” (the word more commonly used here instead of “tan” or “brown”) my family comments upon it in a negative manner. Nevertheless, I came into this country privileged for my skin color, and will leave it privileged in many ways. While I stand out and feel uncomfortable in “wealthy spaces” in America, here I blend in a little bit more, such as in malls. My skin is relatively lighter, my hair and makeup is done, and I am dressed “stylish.” I look wealthy here – and it’s true, I have the privilege of being an American traveler here. I have gotten many compliments on my style and appearance during my stay here.  I believe this is an example of E. J. R. David and Sumie Okazaki’s concept of “denigration of the Filipino culture or body,” (2006, pg. 242) an aspect of colonial mentality. It is characterized by the notion that “American” is better, including culture and physical characteristics. Here, I look like a wealthy woman you’d find in a mall – many of the wealthy here (in the words of my cousin) “try to look American.”

Cousins

I am American – and I am also Pilipina – that is one lesson that I have learned here that will stick with me forever. While my privilege and difference puts me in an odd position here, I still feel at home. This is in part because when looking around, I am not surrounded by White people, which can be a common experience in Seattle. Because I am in the Philippines, Filipinos are not invisible, as they often are in the U.S. It’s a new feeling, one that I have embraced (with respect to my privileges, as best I can). I also find it noteworthy that although I look wealthier here, I am still perceived as Pilipin@ -- something I don’t always experience in the States. As a mixed-race Pin@y, I was always told I looked more “Latina” and because of that wasn’t really “Filipino.” Many times in public spaces, people in the States try to speak to me in Spanish or ask me if I’m Latina. While I have been recognized as Pin@y in America, it is more often the other way around. It is also more often that family and friends say I look more like my dad and more Latin@. Some distant family and friends are even shocked that I am Pin@y – I look “Mexican” or “Spanish” (they mean Latin@).  Here, unless I am in a group of other American travelers, I am perceived as a “native” Pilipin@ -- I have accidentally ignored clerks and sales associates countless times because they were speaking to me, in Tagalog, and I didn’t notice. My cousins and Titos/Titas even tell me, “What? You don’t look like your dad. You look super Filipino!” Most people I’ve met (unless I’m with the Study Abroad group) have perceived me as native Filipino until I open my mouth and they hear my accent.

I believe that one of the reasons I am perceived as Latin@ rather than possibly Pin@y in the States is because of the invisibility of Pilipin@s in America. As a mixed-race American who is both Latin@ and Pilipin@, I truly believe that although Latin@s don’t have adequate representation, they have a much higher visibility than Pin@ys and other Southeast Asians/Pacific Islanders. Because of a lack of Pin@y representation and visibility, many Americans have a specific trope or stereotype of what a Filipino should be – a stereotype that I am far from. My racial/ethnic identity was always confusing for me growing up because of this notion that I don’t look or am not “really” Pin@y. Representation in the media is needed to show the diversity and identity of Pin@ys. Representation in education  is also essential. I don’t remember learning anything about Pilipin@s in primary school. This helped to confuse me about my identity even further. Because Pin@ys are currently invisible, “Including Filipino and Filipino American history and contributions from a non-Eurocentric perspective would allow many Filipino Americans to free themselves from cultural psychological captivity and form a healthy ethnic identity” (Andresen, 2012, pg. 81). I believe that Eurocentric education helped to make me hurt and confused about my identity as a Filipino, and as a mixed-race person (especially with two non-white parents). I took this Study Abroad trip as a part of my personal journey of decolonization and identity, and I’m coming out of it with a better sense of self and identity/pride as Pin@y.

I am fortunate to have experienced this journey with such an amazing group of folks. I loved experiencing the journey with other Filipino-Americans, so I didn’t have to do it alone. Having non-Filipinos also brought something to the mix to put things into perspective. I appreciated the allyship of the non-Filipinos and their desire to understand us and our journeys, and to form their own journeys and perspectives as well. This made a generally positive dynamic between classmates. I made some genuine friendships on this trip, and learned so much through listening to the stories and experiences of my new friends. Had I done an independent trip alone, I would not have had these experiences.

Our group on one of the last days. Minus Tylor. :(

Last of us left!

Working in my group also went smoothly. Louie, Savannah, Bryan, and I were all on the same page and all shared an enthusiasm about our project on street art culture in the Philippines. It helped that we were all fascinated by the culture and excited to learn more. Everyone respected the spaces we traveled to and the people we interviewed, which was great considering we, as outsiders, may tend not to be so conscientious. We all participated and worked on whatever we did best in. We all prepared questions for the interview, and Monica used her artistic talents to film the interviews, while I took photographs for the project. Bryan put the video together, while the rest of planned a discussion around it. We all chose to talk about different points in our presentation that we were knowledgeable about and interested in. I enjoyed my group, especially because I loved our presentation! I still can’t believe we had the opportunity to put together such a unique and stimulating project.

My time in the Philippines is coming to an end. Although I’m still here, I miss our program, our experiences, and our group. I wish I could still be seeing and living these new experiences with everyone, and I am grateful to have gotten to make this trip and meet everyone. I know this trip has  changed me forever – and I truly believe it’s changes everyone else, too. My decolonization journey is far from over, but this trip is one of the most fundamental things I have done to discover my identity and to decolonize my mind.

Works Cited:

Andresen, T. (2012). Knowledge construction, transformative academic knowledge, and Filipino American identity and experience, In E. Bonus, E. & D. Maramba, (Eds.) The “other“ students: Filipino Americans, education, and power. Charlotte, NC: IAP.

David, E.J.R., & Okazaki, S. (2006). The Colonial Mentality Scale (CMS) for Filipino Americans: Scale construction and psychological implications: A review and recommendation.
Journal of Counseling Psychology 53 (1), pp. 1–16.

Ileto, R.C. (1998). The Philippine-American War, Friendship and Forgetting. In Shaw, A.V. & Francia, L.H. Vestiges of war. (pp. 3-21). New York: New York Press.

Reflecting on the Philippines

Lalaine Ignao

Final Blog

11 August 2014

Reflecting on the Philippines

For as long as I could remember, I fantasized about attending school in the Philippines. Growing up, I immersed myself in the culture from the moment I was born, hoping to one day have the opportunity to study abroad in the motherland. It wasn’t until this past school year that I was given the chance to actually follow my dreams with the help of the University of Washington. Finally being able to achieve my lifelong dream, I didn’t know what to expect; being a student from Seattle University, I have never experienced taking a class at UW except for the pre-departure seminar for the study abroad trip. I wasn’t sure how hard the class was going to be, let alone how rigorous it would be to study abroad with the university. At first I thought that I would be prepared studying in the Philippines because of my prior visit to the country seven years ago and my knowledge of the place from watching The Filipino Channel. I was wrong; with traveling all over the Philippines, learning about its history through the assigned weekly readings, and interacting with the local people, there was, and is, still so much I could learn about the motherland.

Picture taken from Richard Jarabe

Growing up, I always knew the struggles Filipinos had to deal with living in the Philippines but I never was able to really see it for myself aside from watching the Filipino news and seeing bits of it during my stay in 2007. CHID opened my eyes to see the poverty local people in the Philippines deal with every day. As we traveled to many parts of the country, I could see the different class structures present; one town would be the home of the working class citizens when just the next town over inhabits the upper class citizens. I didn’t realize that the Philippines was in this condition because of America’s influence on the country.

“‘There is something curious about this – curious and unaccountable. There must be two Americas: one that sets the captive free, and one that take a once – captive’s new freedom away from him, and picks a quarrel with him with nothing to found it on; then kills him to get his land’” (Twain, 2002, 64).

With the United States impacting the Philippines and its people comes assimilation within the two different cultures. One of the biggest impacts that America has on the Philippines is in the educational systems. Attending classes at the Philippine Women’s University and visiting other college campuses, I quickly realized that lectures were taught in English and it is highly encouraged for students to learn and practice speaking in English. “With American education, the Filipinos were not only learning a new language; they were not only forgetting their own language; they were starting to become a new type of American. American ways were slowly being adopted” (Constantino, 1982, pg. 183). Visiting professors at Ateneo de Manila University, I found out that the university is even planning to get rid of Tagalog classes altogether in the near future. With English being taught and used in the educational systems, the different dialects of the Philippines are slowly disappearing. It upsets me that the national language of the Philippines is slowly disappearing because of the influence and power America has over the Filipino people.

As the program continued and our studies persisted, I learned about utang na loob and how the Philippines believes that “‘Mother America’ is owed a lifelong inner debt, or utang na loob, by the Filipino people she nurtured” (Ileto, 1998, pg. 3). Because the United States saved the Philippines from Spain and helped develop the country, the government and its people have this illusion that they are forever in debt to America. With this misconception, the Philippines have allowed the United States to transform the country into something they believe is correct. “Americans, having dismissed Filipinos as less civilized, wanted to transform Filipino culture, to ‘remake’ Filipinos to more closely resemble what Americans were used to” (Paulet, 2007, pg. 179).

Because of the power and influence America has over the Philippines, Filipinos are blinded by the truth in the country’s history with the United States, how America paid Spain to hand over the Philippines and then controlled the country and its people, even causing violence in order for Filipinos to cooperate. “The American view of our history turned our heroes into brigands in our own eyes, and distorted our vision of our future” (Constantino, 1982, pg. 180). Regardless, people still put the United States on a pedestal; whenever I talked to the local people about America and asked about the history, they would justify everything by saying that America has done so much for the country and that the people will forever be grateful.

It made me upset that the United States have so much power over the Filipino people but reading the weekly assignments and being a part of a group with Kristen, Catalina, Ben, and Mary Jane gave me a new perspective on the readings and the program’s course description.  Each person comes from different backgrounds and interpreted the class material in their own way, giving the whole group a huge discussion when it came down to talking about the assigned readings. When it was our turn to present the second week’s readings, the group was given Ileto’s The Philippine-American War: Friendship and Forgetting, Twain’s To the Person Sitting in the Darkness, and Zinn’s Invasion of the Philippines. Each reading revolved around the theme of theorizing American occupation, speaking from the time that the United States took the Philippines from Spain to slowly influencing the Filipinos to assimilate to American culture. These three readings were difficult to understand at first because they were so heavy and were filled with information; but once my group met together to work on the class presentation, we were able to answer one another’s questions about each reading.  From this, I was able to benefit being a part of a group and recognize what other people’s perspectives are on the course material that are different from mine as well as receive a better understanding of the readings with the help of my classmates in my group.

Picture taken by Richard Jarabe

Our group dynamics crossed over smoothly when we began working on the class project; it was confusing at first for us to start working on the final project because we didn’t know what the guidelines were. After brainstorming ideas of what we wanted our topic to be, the group finally decided to research on skin whitening, another symbol of colonial mentality in the Philippines. Colonial mentality is a notion of “internalized oppression following colonialism” (David & Okazaki, 2006, pg. 241). Everywhere we went, there were advertisements promoting either skin whitening products or depicting light skinned models endorsing different products. These images are a subtle way of giving Filipinos the want to have lighter skin instead of being content with the skin tone that they have already. With this comes the idea of American influence in the Philippines, creating one more thing for Filipinos to mimic in hopes of becoming more American-like. Before conducting our research, the group came up with our thesis for skin whitening and its influence within the people of the Philippines. Skin whitening is a physical manifestation of American occupation in the Philippines and colonial mentality. It is one of the top selling markets in the Philippines, but many Filipinos are unaware of the harmful health effects. Though many are unaware, there still Filipinos and organizations that exist who advocate for self-love and national pride.

Skin Whitening product

The plan for our group project on skin whitening was to look for studies that show the effects skin whitening products have on people and to interview people about their opinion on the issue and whether or not they knew if the products had any health effects. In the beginning of our project, we came together and had a discussion of how we wanted to go about the presentation, each person contributing ideas and thoughts on what to do. As a group, we made decisions by taking a vote on each suggestion and compromising if the idea was too hard or complicated. By the time we were done discussing what we wanted to do, we decided on making a movie of all the interviews we planned on conducting while adding in slideshows that gave statistics about skin whitening, its effects, and the assigned readings we related to the issue. We took the time to brainstorm together what questions we wanted to ask people and what information we were hoping to receive from each interview. It was difficult conducting how to go about researching for the project at first because we were dealing with a typhoon and lost internet connection in the dorms but once we were able to figure out transportation, Catalina, Ben, Mary Jane, Kristen, and I all headed for the mall.

Each person was given the task to find readings that relate to our topic and be in charge of that assigned reading, rereading the material, and finding quotes that relate back to what we were talking about. In additional, Mary Jane and Ben stayed at UP Town Center to do online research on the effects skin whitening products have on people while Catalina, Kristen, and I went to SM North to find random people in the mall to interview. When we were interviewing Lance and Lawrence back at the dorms, the whole group was interviewing them, asking individual questions each person had that related to our assigned readings that we were in charge of as people took turns recording the interviews. Once we gathered all the material we needed for the presentation, Catalina volunteered to be in charge of making the video. The rest of the group helped her when written material needed to be added into the video, such as quotes, statistics, and summaries of studies. Whenever there was an interviewee speaking in Tagalog, I helped Catalina with the subtitles by translating what each person was saying. We all contributed pictures we had of skin whitening and footage of interviews. The final class presentation was definitely a group effort.

Throughout this whole process of working within a group expanded my horizons and forced me to step out of my comfort zone, voicing my opinion more. Our group dynamic was very diverse as everyone had different backgrounds and was experiencing the Philippines study abroad program from a variety of perspectives. With these new perspectives, I was able to open my mind and see the different angles my other classmates view the Philippines and interpret the weekly readings. Being a quiet and reserved person in a classroom setting did not help when it came to presentations. I was forced to speak up and talk about the weekly readings and skin whitening with the class. While conducting research for the final group project, I had no choice but to step out of my comfort zone once again and speak to strangers, asking them for an interview and asking them questions about skin whitening. This was good practice for me though because as a strategic communications major, I need to become comfortable speaking in front of people and to strangers. The final group project not only gave me an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone but also see what skin whitening really does to people. Before the presentation, I didn’t know much about the issue and didn’t realize its health effects on people. Doing the final group project on skin whitening was an eye-opener for me, portraying the influence America has on the people of the Philippines on a whole other level.

Looking back at the month long quarter, I learned a lot about the United States’ influence on the Philippines and how it affects the Filipinos as well as working within a group with Kristen, Catalina, Mary Jane, and Ben. But during those 30 days, I also learned more about myself. Throughout the trip, I did my best to keep my promises of keeping an open mind to everything around me in the Philippines and to always try new things, even if it meant getting out of my comfort zone. Looking back at my experiences throughout the trip, I definitely came out of my shell; riding on top of the jeepney, hiking, learning the art of arnis, zip lining, singing karaoke in front of new people, going on the twin hanging bridge, and taking part of an unfamiliar religion’s ritual are just a few activities I took part in that I never imagined myself doing before the program began. I learned how to take chances and push myself beyond my limits while being in the Philippines. What people say about studying abroad is right; you learn more about yourself and you change in such a short amount of time. Interacting with the local people and learning about their story gave me not only a better understanding about them but also a better understanding about myself.  

I saw how passionate Filipinos can be when they find something they’re willing to work hard for; talking to some of the PWU students I learned that some of them had to go against their parents’ wishes of studying a “practical course” and study their desired course instead while juggling work in the mix. While multitasking work with school is normal in the United States, it is very unusual to do so in the Philippines. Listening to the students’ stories of juggling work with school brought me to the realization of true passion and hard work of a Filipino and reminded me of the struggles my parents went through in order to make it to America.

All my life I’ve wanted to move to the Philippines; I would constantly tease my parents that I would find work in the Philippines and live there for the rest of my life. My father would retort and tell me how difficult life is in the Philippines, especially if I were to move there. I didn’t realize what he meant until we had a discussion with the PWU students during one of our lectures. One student spoke about Filipino Americans being in the Philippines to work, using English to their advantage to find jobs in the Philippines, making it harder for locals to find jobs themselves. Louie then commented that it isn’t our fault that we were born in America and have English as our first language. Even though we have the privileges of living in America, we will never fully belong in America or in the Philippines. We are caught in between the two countries. Reflecting on this, I realize that what Louie said relates to me. I may seem very close to my Filipino culture and could pass as a true Filipino to people in America but speaking Tagalog in the Philippines alone proved it wrong, seeing that the people in the Philippines have commented that I speak slang Tagalog. Because of this new insight, I realized that there is more to both the Philippines and the United States than what meets the eye. We came to the Philippines in order to break down barriers and deconstruct the stereotypes. The mentality of “hurry up and wait” that the group abided by did not only teach me to speed up the process of getting ready in the morning and also the art of becoming patient and considerate of other people, not only within our study abroad group but the people in the Philippines. I believe that if we continue interacting with the Filipinos and they continue interacting with Americans, we’ll be able to create a better understanding of one another, deconstructing one stereotype at a time.

References:

• Twain, Mark. “To the Person Sitting in Darkness.” Vestiges of War. Ed. A. Shaw and L.H. Francia. New York Press: New York, 2002. 57-68. Print.
• Constantino, Renato. “Miseducation of Filipinos.” Vestiges of War. Ed. A. Shaw and L.H. Francia. New York Press: New York, 1982. 177-192. Print.
• David E.J.R. & Okazaki. “The Colonial Mentality Scale (CMS) for Filipino Americans: Scale         construction and psychological implications: A review and recommendation.” Journal of Counseling Psychology. 2006. 53 (1), pp. 1–16. Print.
• Ileto, Reynaldo C. “The Philippine-American War: Friendship and Forgetting.” Vestiges of War. Ed. A. Shaw and L.H. Francia. New York Press: New York, 1998. 3-21. Print.
• Paulet, Ann. “To change the world: The use of American Indian education in the Philippines.” History of Educational Quarterly, 2007, 47 (2), 173-202. Print.