Learning Doesn’t Stop After the Program – Claudette’s final blog

Yesterday, I visited my 3^rd grade and she told me “Claudette, do you remember when you used to tell me that you wanted your husband to be an American?” By American she meant a white person. I forced a quiet laugh but when I heard it, a lot of things came into my mind. If I hadn’t been in this program, I would’ve reaffirmed that I indeed wanted an American husband. After being in this program, I was conscious of what colonial mentality is and so the fact that I used to say that when I was younger indeed confirmed that I had colonial mentality. Now I want to emphasis the word had. After learning what happened to Filipinos and what they’re going through now, I can confidently say that I’m a different person. I don’t think this blog can completely capture my experience during this program but I will try to put all I can into words.

During this program, I became frustrated and started to cry.  No, it wasn’t because of homesickness. It was because my identity was being questioned. Before explaining, I would like to give you a bit of background. I was born in the Philippines but moved to the United States when I was 8 years old. Unlike my fellow Filipino-American peers in this program, I had a balance of both Filipino and Filipino-American culture throughout my life so far.  After reading Third Andresen’s piece which explains the influences of colonial mentality on Filipinos, I felt frustrated because I realized how everything he’s mentioned such as “ deficit perceptions of being Filipino, involves feelings of inferiority, shame, embarrassment, resentment or self-hate about being a person of Filipino heritage” were something that applied to me growing up (Andresen, 2012, p. 69).  I thought that this mentality was just the way things were but after learning that it was because of the colonizers that I felt angry. Angry because I grew up hating this part of me. Angry because it was parents who embedded this mentality into my upbringing. Angry because that means generations of Filipinos will continue to have this mentality. Angry because I didn’t know if I had the responsibility to do something about it. Angry because I don’t know if I can do anything at all.

A specific example of colonial mentality is this whole skin whitening business. I still currently am in the Philippines and when I watch TV here, almost all of the commercialized products for beauty and hygiene advertises skin whitening.  It sickens me to think about how Filipinos try so hard to the point that they are willing to endanger their health to look like people who not so long ago oppressed them. I have no right to judge however because the blame cannot be put on them. This program taught me about what white privilege is. Before this program, I didn’t believe in it. But even during the pre-departure orientation, after watching “The Color of Fear”, I gained a different perspective and yet again, I felt angry. Angry because we people of color fight each other, which makes us do the dirty work for those in power. Angry because the fact that white people seem to think that being color blind isn’t still perpetuating racism. Angry because black men like Mike Brown are dropping dead like flies because of police brutality. Angry because white people are put into such high pedestal by Filipinos. Angry because I used to agree with them.

Another topic that stuck out to me during this program was globalization. Globalization opens borders, which brings in money through things like tourism. Before this program, I thought that this was completely the best way for a third-world country to flourish, but I learned about how it displaces and exploits the indigenous people and yet again I was angry. A reading that stuck out to me that is connected to globalization was Mark Twain’s “To the Person Sitting in the Darkness”. The person sitting in the darkness can be interpreted as Filipinos who were in the dark about how the Americans were pushing their beliefs on them or Americans not knowing what their country is doing to other people. In my case as both a Filipino and an American, both apply to me. Because I grew up in the American traditional schooling system, I grew up not knowing what happened to my people. Learning this didn’t discourage me however. Twain (2002) states “The Person Sitting in Darkness is almost sure to say: ‘there is something curious about this—curious and unaccountable. There must be two Americas: one that sets the captive free, and one that takes a once-captive's new freedom away from him, and picks a quarrel with him with nothing to found it on; then kills him to get his land.’” (p. 64) As an American, pursuing what the truth is and questioning it is already fighting against what is so deeply embedded in our culture. This is when I realized that being angry was better than being ignorant. To acknowledge that though Filipinos gained their freedom in paper, they are still under the control of America is to acknowledge colonial mentality and the need to break free from them.

One way for Filipinos to break free is to change their educational system. When we visited Anteneo de Manila, we were informed that policy changes are happening in which will make English the main language of instruction. To me, this screamed colonial mentality. To break free from this belief that English should be a bigger priority than Filipino languages should be what policy makers should be working towards. This topic of education connects to Renato Constantino’s “The Miseducation of the Filipino”. In this reading he says “Worst of all, many Filipinos will even oppose nationalistic legislation either because they have become the willing servants of foreign interests or because, in their distorted view, we Filipinos cannot progress without the help of foreign capital and foreign entrepreneurs” (Constantino, 1982, p. 10). Because of this program, I became conscious of how dependent Filipinos are to their colonizers. I’m ashamed now to admit that even some Filipinos who can be called “educated” still don’t believe in themselves and our country as a whole.

Before talking about succeeding, whose standards are we talking about anyways? Why do we as a country have to prove to those who colonized us or anybody that we’re capable? Why do we try so hard to gain acceptance when we know that no matter what we do, we can never be like them? Why do we even want to be like them? Throughout my experience in this program, a lot of questions remained unanswered to me. I will take these questions with me back to Seattle, knowing that it takes more than one month for me to figure things out. My experience here in the Philippines is bittersweet because this land I call home has been but a lie but no matter what, I am still proud to be Filipino.

Reflection of Group Project:

The topic my group decided to pursue was music. Specifically we wanted to know the Western influence on Filipino music. I came into this project thinking that we were going to just get interviews of people who want to fight the big influence Western music has. To my surprise, many of them accept it and welcome it. It had me thinking: is letting Western influence become part of the music culture here in the Philippines no harm? Or is it still perpetuating colonial mentality?

How I personally benefitted from the group project was what I learned from interviewing so many people. I gained many perspectives, such as from an ethnomusicology professor to a professional DJ. The professor had a point when he said that everything is progressive. Why should we put in so much effort into preserving original Filipino music when indigenous people have no problem with this progressiveness? As for the DJ, he gave me hope that there are bands and other musicians with Filipino music trying to make it big in order to change the current music culture, which seems to be dependent on Western music.

To be quite honest, I don’t believe I was able to put my best work into this project. Usually in projects, I am the leader. I plan and make sure the plan is executed well. In this instance I wasn’t able to do so, which made our project a disaster. Our goal, or I could say some of our group members wanted a full-on documentary to show during our presentation, which was impossible for us to do. We had too much footage but so little time to edit them. In the end we ended up cutting a 45-minute documentary to 20 minutes. We literally had to pull an all-nighter to finish it. This was my first all-nighter, and yes I went crazy. I believe I was delirious throughout the presentation but I am just glad that we even had a presentation. My contribution included picking quotes from the readings to talk about in the presentation and also editing the documentary. I also took part in the interviewing process. I chose not to talk about the contribution of my team members for personal reasons

Works Cited

Andresen, T. (2012). Knowledge construction, transformative academic knowledge, and Filipino American identity and experience, In E. Bonus, E. & D. Maramba, (Eds.) The “other“ students: Filipino Americans, education, and power. Charlotte, NC: IAP.

Constantino, R. (1982). Miseducation of Filipinos. In I In A.V. Shaw & L.H Francia, Vestiges of war. (pp. 177-192). New York: New York Press.

Twain, M. (2002). To the person sitting in darkness. In Shaw, A.V. & Francia, L.H. Vestiges of war. (pp. 57-68). New York: New York Press.

Tylor Final Reflection

            Through this course, I learned more about knowledge construction and the role education plays in the development of our self-identity and group identities, such as ethnicity, race, gender, and nation. As a class we studied this through the effects American colonial relations with the Philippines.

 America through their imposition of an education system changed how Filipinos view themselves. This education system was modeled after the one used in America to pacify the native populations and make them more accepting of integration and assimilation into the American system. In the Philippines, the bringing of education was used to justify the American presence and taking of resources from the Philippines.

America came into the Philippines at a time of rising nationalism as the population was struggling against their Spanish colonizers for independence. America came into the war under the guise of liberators but through a deal with Spain stayed as colonizers. The independent Republic of the Philippines only lasted a few months before being disbanded by the American government. The education system had to find a way to lessen the role of Filipino elites in the liberation from Spain and heighten the importance of America as liberators. The Americans portrayed themselves as bringing to reality the desires of the ilustrado elites like Jose Rizal, who were the spark that ignited the revolt against Spain. While at the same time, the Americans needed to dismiss the rebellion against American colonialism and the Philippine Republic as proof of the Filipinos need for American tutelage.

The new education system shaped Filipino understandings of their nation, ethnicity, and race, which led to an understanding of themselves as inferior to Americans and other Western powers. To be White became the image of beauty and intelligence. To be Brown was to be savage and in need of tutelage. Since the Filipino national movement was circumscribed by the Americans, Filipinos were taught to not take pride in their being Filipino. Instead many strived to be American. Many left for America, taking with them this inferiority complex. Those who stayed also adopted more American ways of acting, dressing, talking, and being entertained. Even after America left the Philippines as a colonial power, American music and movies still over-shadow more indigenous forms of entertainment and locally produced forms of entertainment.

This feeling of inferiority we learned is called Colonial Mentality. This leads to both Filipinos and Filipino-Americans feeling the need to assimilate to a more American way of life. This also leads to parallel oppression as more assimilated Filipinos judge less assimilated Filipinos as inferior. This feeling of gratitude towards America for bringing civilization and democracy to Filipinos leads to a feeling that Filipinos do not have a History. However, this course worked to show us that Filipinos do have a history and to resist colonial mentality.

Before taking this course I had little interest in studying the Philippines when taking courses within my major, Southeast Asian Studies. I decided to take this course because I started to question my reasons for not being interested in the History. This course changed my mind of the Philippines by showing me where this thinking came from. Many of the ideas came from America’s educational policies and shaping of the mainstream understanding of Filipino history. I was not interested in the Philippines because it did not seem to have as deep of a history as places like Indonesia. However, it is just not as well studied because America wished to show the Philippines as a place of disorder before American intervention. Also the Islamic past might make it less desirable of a thing of study for many nationalist Filipino scholars who identify as Catholic.

Through going on field trips to places I was able to see the rich history and achievements of the Philippines before it was the Philippines. I saw the shrine of the muslim warrior, Lapu Lapu who killed Ferdinand Magellan. This history shows the uniting factor of Islam and the strength and organization of the early Philippines before colonialism. We also saw places like the Banaue rice terraces. This place showed the great engineering achievements of the Philippines before colonialism. The groups were self-sufficient before American and Spanish involvement. Now Filipinos rely on a global system led by countries like America for their daily needs and this has caused a great divide between poverty and wealth.

            Learning about the colonial factors in the current understanding of Filipino history has led me to want to continue studying this topic in graduate school. The regions that now fall into the states of Indonesia and the Philippines before colonialism had very connected and similar histories. However, after colonialism and differing understandings of nationalism through the education system, these two countries have developed differing understanding of their past. I feel like studying the current national histories and nationalisms of these two countries with the colonial education policies as well as taking in account the ways that before colonialism these regions’ histories were similar, would give me a better understanding of nationalism, history, colonialism, education, and southeast asia in general.

            Being able to engage directly with the Philippines was one of the most valuable aspects of this course. Through our group project, I learned a lot about the Filipinos’ self view. My group focused on music in the Philippines. Many musicians told us it was difficult to be a musician in the Philippines because there is not enough financing for proper recordings. These less financed bands have to compete with the well-produced bands of America. Many people we talked to stated they preferred American music and there was not much good music coming from the Philippines. The musicians told us there were gems in the Philippines. However, they are just harder to find because no one is looking and they need financing. Through our project we wanted to document some of the music coming out of the Philippines that showed that Filipino music was not inferior to American music.

I felt that there was very little conflict within my group because we were all people who are greatly interested in music and had similar opinions on what we wanted to show with our documentary. The only problem we had was time and figuring out how to divide the roles. I was mainly in charge of getting in contact with people involved with the music scene and interviewing them. However, Tory, Cristian, and Claudette also did some of the interviewing. Tory accompanied me to many concerts and filmed both the performances and interviews. Cristian and Claudette did most of the editing and decisions involving what footages to use and how to incorporate them into the film to get our thesis across.

More alike than we are different: Final Blog

Final Blog

On July 23^rd, 2014, Catalina, Christian, and I sat in the only café we could access passed airport security at the Manila airport. The café was a little busy but we were starving. Much to our surprise, it became a challenge for us to have our order taken or to be served. Our time in the Philippines had taught me to be critical and observant. I was always asking questions about the things I saw and experienced. As I looked around, I noticed many European and Caucasian looking people. All of these people either had food or drinks on their table. Catalina and I had attempted to dine at this café earlier in the day but walked out frustrated after fifteen minutes of waiting for someone to greet our table. As we sat in the café during our second attempt, I noticed an older white man walk in, sit down, and immediately be greeted by the waitress. This was extremely frustrating to see because it was yet another encounter with the colonial mentality that cripples many people living in the Philippines. It may be due to their internalized oppression about the way that they see themselves that triggers oppressive and mostly unconscious prejudices against other people of color (David and Okazaki, 2006, pp. 241). This colonial presence was so strong in the Philippines for me and I feel as if I vividly experienced it until the very last day I was there.

When describing my trip, I have said time and time again that I feel as if I grew and learned more from my one month in the Philippines than I did in my three months in Brazil. I can attribute to my professors, group leaders, and the students that I share this study abroad experience with. The diverse perspectives that were available to me, greatly contributed to my learning. For example, almost half of the students on the trip identified as Pilipino American. For many, this trip drastically altered their perspective of their selves and of their culture. “In interpreting Philippine history, ‘they reversed the colonizer’s perspective and degraded the colonized which they viewed Spanish and American as good’” (Andresen, 2012, pp. 76). Many students on this trip grew up with this same colonized mentality and beliefs handed down from their parents, only to have them deconstructed during our study in the Philippines. To be able to experience this process alongside them was impactful for me. It motivated me to look at my cultural identities and how this same colonial mentality affects Indigenous people of North America. I began to realize that I have succumbed to many of these colonized constructions of identity that I saw present in Pilipino people.

In the United States, I am so used to this way of thinking and have been taught to think this way from a young age that it has become normalized and not easily detected. This led to empathy and understanding I feel with Filipino’s. I have learned that the path to colonization in the United States is very similar to the one in the Philippines. It was harder for me to realize it in the US because I am numb to it but travelling to the Philippines opened my eyes and broadened my awareness. My short time back in the United States has been a difficult one as I observe my family and members of the Native community as they unknowingly participate in colonial ideologies. For example, my grandfather was discussing with me his concern about the large amount of Latino children that are “illegally” crossing the boarder right now. Who created those borders? Who has labeled them as foreign or illegal? The indigenous people of North American did not create a border, the colonizers did.

Through the critical lens I have gained, I have concluded that the more I learn, the less I realize I know. Life is really a continuous learning process. I cannot recount the number of times I have heard this being said, but it became bluntly real for me on this trip.

The more I learned, the more I was able to unpack the “American savior” concept I have been conditioned to believe all of my life. The comic strip by Zinn (2008), Benevolent Assimilation, was instrumental in this unpacking. It illustrated a different perspective behind American occupation in the Philippines. The United States is always painted in a heroic light. I know now that this is because the victors get to write the histories. Reading ‘Benevolent Assimilation’ made it clear to me that, at the end of the day, the reason behind the Philippine- American war was because of race and power. This led to me thinking about other wars and concluding that most wars, especially in the history of the US, were fought because of race and power. All other explanations are cover-ups to make the reasoning for the war legitimate and to shine the US in a heroic light.

Religion is something I have learned to be critical of as well. I began questioning my own beliefs after witnessing the abundant and influential presence of Catholicism in the Philippines. In this way I witnessed the strong affects of colonization that are still very prominent. Dr. Shaw’s documentary has stuck with me. I am still trying to digest it and what it meant. I am still curios to know if she found the answers she was looking for in her spiritual journey. To me, it has been hard to identify with the religious practices or rituals that are common in the Philippines, even though I am supposed to identify with the same religion of Christianity. Over all, my experiences have reiterated a belief I have always carried. That is that what works for me works for me and it is okay if what works for someone else is different. Witnessing a woman be nailed to a cross with claims that she is a prophet, does not work for me, but it is not my place to say this is right or wrong. When it comes to religion, I am not sure if there can ever be “right” or “wrong.”

Group Project Reflection

            Working on our final group project was one of the highlights of my study abroad experience. My only regret is that we didn’t start earlier so that we could have increased the conversations we had and the amount of people we met. I benefitted in working in a group because the members contributed different perspectives and interests. For example, Monica’s interest in graffiti art propelled the idea of our own project. This is probably something I would not have chosen to pursue had I been working independently. I am grateful that I wasn’t and that we did our project on street art. I learned an abundance about what I believe to be an influential and growing part of Filipino culture and resistance.

             The only conflict I encountered was my frustration with the lack of cultural competence one of the members in my group seemed to have. Some of the things they said were almost offensive but I had to remind myself that not everyone has had the proper cultural education; in fact many of us have not. This is something that is the fault of the education system and not always the individual. I also had to acknowledge that I do not know everything either, I am far from that. Having humility and grace helped me to side step the frustrations I had and instead find positive ways to contribute my experiences and knowledge’s to change their frame work.

            Decision-making was a collective action. I acknowledge the fact that I often give my opinion of decisions. I felt as if I made an effort to seek the opinions of the other group members that did not necessarily contribute their opinion on their own. Our group made a conscious effort to make sure the decision-making process, tasks, and work, were split up as evenly as possible.

Who did what:

Bryan- In charge of the physical representations. He made the slide show and edited and put together the video.  He researched the history of Hip-hop and street art in the United States. Along with Louie, Bryan transcribed and translated the whole interview with JR from Taglog to English, which was time consuming and challenging.

Me- I came up with the Thesis for the group project. I research the history of hip-hop and street art in the Philippines. Connected what I found to the article by Third Andresen that we read in class. Created the activities and significance for both presentations, which included the step back circle and the mock graffiti mural.

Monica- suggested the idea of focusing on street art. Connected us with our interviewee’s. Filmed our interviews and documented street art in the Metro Manila area. Connected our presentation to the Baguio Street Art reading that we read in class.

Desiree- researched the history of street art and hip-hop in the Philippines. She also looked at Pilipino street art groups and organizations who seek to promote the street art movement. She created the slide show of street art that we showed in our presentation.

Louie- related our findings, interviews, and thesis to the class readings. Transcribed and translated the interview with JR along. She was a big part when it came to our interview process since many people wanted to speak in Taglog. She filmed these interviews.

Conclusion

            In the end I have realized that identity is a layered and complicated matter, not just for Pilipino people, but for all people. We now live in a world that is highly influenced by the “western world,” a world that is ever growing in globalization and connectivity. A world that is ran by the few that have the power to influence the many. I am not sure how I feel about this process yet. I see it even now, as I travel Europe. The American corporate influence here is undeniable. Slowly, cultures are losing the ways in which they are different to embrace a culture that makes us all the same. In a way this can be seen as another mode of colonization. Not to say that this is what is happening in Europe because the circumstances are quite different and there is a lot of power to be held here, but they are still influenced by the United States just as the Philippines still is. Although the Philippines have gained their independence, I have seen the colonial influence a country can still have on a formally occupied country and I hate it. All I want to see is an organic Pilipino identity to be rediscovered and celebrated, for it to be known among its people. I want the same for Native American people, but like I said, identity is a complicated matter and I am not sure if it can ever be fully restored.

 The biggest take away I can embrace from this trip is the realization that through different cultures, religions, races, and whatever differences may separate us, at the end of the day, we are more alike than we are different. The more people that realize that, the better off our world will be.

Citations

Andresen, T. (2012). Knowledge construction, transformative academic knowledge, and Filipino American identity and experience, In E. Bonus, E. & D. Maramba, (Eds.) The “other“students: Filipino Americans, education, and power. Charlotte, NC: IAP.

Constantino, R. (1982). Miseducation of Pilipinos. In A.V. Shaw & L.H Francis, Vestiges of war.

pp. 177-192. New York: New York Press.

David, E.J.R., & Okazaki, S. (2006). The Colonial Mentality Scale (CMS) for Filipino

Americans: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z8rOTGAafpg/U8eIJXtoXXI/AAAAAAAAARM/_SE4mpy60LE/s1600/IMG_4125.jpg Scale construction and psychological implications: A review and recommendation. Journal of Counseling Psychology 53 (1), pp. 1-16.

Zinn, H. (2008). Invasion of the Philippines. In A people’s history of American empire. (pp.53-

72) NY: Metropolitan Books.

Life is a beautiful conundrum (Cristian's final blog)

The Rizal Shrine was an overwhelming experience. I could not forget the image of the Filipino soldiers shooting Rizal; the Spanish soldiers stood behind them with their guns to their backs forcing them to shoot a fellow countryman. I knew they had no choice. What a mess. I remained somber and fell back from the rest of the group that day. I did not know that experience would affect me the way it did. I could not go through the experience like it was a tourist attraction. I could not forget that it was somebody’s life. Cuya Frank fell back as well and we walked toward the Pasig River. There we stood and observed that in Manila poverty and wealth lived side by side. In Manila one could turn a corner or cross a street and go from the poorest part of town to the wealthiest.

There were no masks in Manila; no one tried to hide poverty there, it just was. People seemed to accept it. Locals would shoo away the hungry children themselves because it was bad for business. It is not that they were immune to the suffering of others; no, they themselves were just trying to survive. Over time, callouses form on what was once soft. This makes it easier for the feet to walk longer distances, for the fingers to accomplish repetitive tasks, and it helps the heart and mind cope with pain. Regardless of how many defense mechanisms the mind has, I was not prepared to see two children swimming through a river full of garbage.

When one looks at a picture of starving children from the National Geographic magazine—with all the privileges of an American—it doesn’t. Seem. Real. Sure, I feel a vague sense of empathy, but it is a lie because I have never experienced starvation in my life. A sight such as this becomes an all-consuming force only when it is experienced. The lens of the camera can be a portal for unknown territory but it can also be the barrier that makes it easy click next. Being there in the moment, there was no forward button. There was no way to make those disturbing images disappear. These children were just trying to survive. They did not see anything wrong with the fact that they were looking through garbage for something of value. This is where I was wrong. What made their actions disturbing in my mind? Throughout this trip I have learned that westerners have a tendency of looking down on situations that do not meet their standards. Americans are very good at this. From now on, I will make a conscious effort to remind myself that our definitions and standards to not apply to the rest of the world. What may be progress for us does not necessary mean progress for someone else. What looked like garbage to me was the determination to find another meal in them. As soon as they saw us their eyes lit up. The smallest child jumped in the water and came asking for money. That’s all he knew how to say in English. These incidents happened so often and yet they always took me by surprise. We read many essays which exposed how American influence had impacted Filipinos; we read the stories our education system refused to tell us.

The education system is a multi-purpose tool that has been used at home and abroad. On the one had it is used to keep Americans in the dark. Constantino(1982) believes that education was also a tool for the United States’ imperialist agenda. He claims that “A more widespread education such as the Americans desired would have been a real blessing had their education program not been the handmaiden for their colonial policy” (1982, p. 180). It was the intentions behind the educational system which were so damaging to the Filipino people. Even today, there are still reminders of what was once an American colony: invasive billboards, street signs in English, malls blown out of proportion, the constant reminder that white skin is better, the pervasive presence of western influence on the radio station, Baguio, and on, and on.

Being in the Philippines was a humbling experience. My identity crumbled beneath me in this new world. Dr. Andresen (2012) claims that our identities are formed through the “knowledge-construction process" (p. 67). Where we obtain our knowledge matters. The lack of representation groups face within the school system and society itself matters. This is important because the interpretation of our experiences dictates the way we see ourselves and others. Our basis for the self is constructed within the framework of an environment that is not of our choosing. At birth, we are thrown into something which becomes us. The problem is that most people don’t know that it is the environment and their interpretation of the environment which makes them who they are. This realization is one that Dr. Andresen found important within the framework of the educational system—the need to change a system which masks and belittles the existence of Filipinos and Filipino-Americans (2012). Through these experiences, I have learned that it is necessary to be a catalyst for change not just within the educational system but in other important aspects of life, especially the home.

 Experiencing all that I did in the Philippines made me feel as if my life had been sugar-coated. Everything that had shaped my existence so far was being challenged by a place, a different interpretation of history. Growing up I had been the underprivileged kid, the farmworker, low-income, minority, Hispanic, etc. Yet, in the Philippines, the simple fact that I had grown up in the United States made me privileged. Low income? A minority? No. For the first time in my life I experienced the other side of that objectification process that I had though myself the victim of. The realization shocked me.

I questioned so much on our trip that I do not know where to begin. I knew that history was a subjective interpretation of events which were retold to the benefit of those in power. Colonial mentality, what I called slave mentality before this trip, is something I thought of frequently but which didn’t materialize until I read the David and Okazaki; it’s as if they validated my premature, undergraduate thoughts. However, despite my internal struggle with the economic and psychological state of Filipinos, I also learned that people are good, not only at adapting but thriving, in chaotic situations. This is the place where assimilation and acculturation converge and it is often difficult to disentangle these to concepts. David and Okazaki (2006) tried to measure acculturation by using a fellow researcher's definition of "acculturation strategies" which were divided into the following: assimilation, integration, separation and marginalization (p. 242). I saw many different examples and combinations of the four acculturation strategies.

For many Filipinos it is natural that one would prefer white skin over dark skin, western music over Filipino music, English over Tagalog. The latter was a topic we discussed at length with Dr. Campomanes and his colleagues. Most of them were avid supporters of standardizing English as the primary language spoken in the Philippines. Dr. Campomanes claimed that English is to act as an international mediator while native languages would take a more personal role within the family setting (personal communication, July 7, 2014). Integration of the English language in a more standardized fashion is not the only way in which Filipinos have appropriated foreign culture and made it their own.Despite the importance of language adoption in the Philippines it was not the only subject which demonstrated Filipinos impressive ability to integrate foreign cultures into its own .

One of the most memorable classes was the class with Kidlat Tahimik. He said something in his documentary that I will never forget: jeepneys are vehicles of war which have been turned into vehicles of life (1977). The jeepney is much more than just a vehicle or novelty for foreigners. The jeepney represents Filipino ingenuity and perseverance. Today, jeepneys are an affordable form of transportation; aside from being convenient and affordable, jeepneys are like fingerprints, no two are the same. 
 

Filipino ingenuity also reflects in other areas such as art. The graffiti in the Philippines reaches beyond the walls of a museum to touch the lives of all passerby. The music covers of American hits overshadow but do not diminish the efforts of musicians who are trying to move beyond this consumerist trend to fulfill a need that demands that music be produced for the sake of music, not to fulfill the demand of the masses.

I believe our group as a whole, worked well because there was a variety of personalities. Everyone had their own life experiences and opinions but we were able to talk about things and gain insight as opposed to just agreeing with each other all the time. Not agreeing is a beautiful thing. I do not make an initiative to make friends and felt perfectly content with the friends I had before this trip, but living with 18 other people put me in a situation that brought me out of my comfort zone and I had to interact with others. Everyone was so friendly and welcoming that it was not very difficult to step out of the hermit shell for a while. I will not pretend that tensions did not escalate a time within the group as it is inevitable with large groups. There were times that I found frustrating, but it was helpful to talk about it with my wonderful roommates. I think the most unfortunate occurrence within my living quarters was that I accidentally locked Mary Jane out of our apartment. She was not a happy camper the following morning.

Photo Credit: Lalaine Ignao

We sat down to talk about it and I apologized for locking her out. I do not like pretending like things did not happen and I do not like laying blame on others. If change is to happen we must take responsibility for our faults and find ways to improve the situation. Our solution after this incident was to leave the keys with the guard anytime we left the room. It worked, and the incident was kind of funny afterward. I will miss cooking eggs and rice for roommates. I will miss waking up and seeing all of your smiling faces downstairs, glued to facebook, snapchat or whatever app you used to communicate with your loved ones. I have never and will most likely never again take so many group selfies in my life. Thank you for the best birthday ever. It wasn’t just my identity that was challenged by this study abroad program; it was my place in time and space, my morals, my patience, my love, my everything. At first I thought that this trip was really for the students who were Filipinos and Filipino-Americans; I just felt thankful I was allowed to tag along for the ride, but I was wrong. This trip was for all of us. We all learned so much about ourselves and each other.

I took the biggest risk of my life embarking on this journey. I gambled the life I had created in the U.S. for a chance to experience something outside of it and I am so glad it was with all of you. I am happy the immigration officer stamped my passport, I am happy that I can continue my life here, but I am most happy that I took that risk. 

References

Andresen, T. (2012). Knowledge construction, transformative academic knowledge, and Filipino

American identity and experience, In E. Bonus, E. & D. Maramba, (Eds.) The “other“students: Filipino Americans, education, and power. Charlotte, NC: IAP.

Constantino, R. (1982). Miseducation of Pilipinos. In A.V. Shaw & L.H Francis, Vestiges of war.

pp. 177-192. New York: New York Press.

David, E.J.R., & Okazaki, S. (2006). The Colonial Mentality Scale (CMS) for Filipino

Americans: Scale construction and psychological implications: A review and recommendation. Journal of Counseling Psychology 53 (1), pp. 1-16.

Tahimik, K. (Director). (1977). Perfumed Memories [Documentary]. Philippines: Les Blank,

Flower Films.