Neverending Journeys

Monica Mendoza-Castrejon

8-10-14

CHID Philippines Study Abroad

Andresen and Panganiban

My time during the Philippines has been an expansive one, complete with eye-opening discoveries and lectures which have broadened my understanding of islands which have gone through so much, yet remained resilient all the same. As an aspiring lawyer and politician, art educator and ‘artivista’ (artist, activist and community organizer), I have found this program to be beneficial in so many ways, mainly through my own personal discoveries and connections that I made during my time in the various locations of the Philippines.

Throughout the program, we focused on the topics of decolonization, the effects of US Imperialism, and the ways in which Pilipin@s have retained their identities while resisting, or subconsciously brainwashed through, the media of Eurocentric standards of beauty and attainment. Having traveled to the ‘third world’ before in Senegal, and having roots in Mexico, I feel that some aspects did not come as a shock to me than it could have been, such as the lack of clean water, a different toilet and plumbing system, congested traffic, lack of wi-fi and internet, etc. But regardless of how many times one may travel to the ‘third world’ it is still eye opening and humbling if you come from a place like Seattle and the Greater Seattle Area, like I am from. The readings which were assigned also gave me a better perspective on the topics focused on throughout the program

During my own time, and some parts of the program, I was able to meet and engage with some artists who are doing great work in the Philippines, one group which I got in contact with, whom I featured for my subgroup’s project on Street Art in the Philippines.  As far as my thinking changing, I have most learned about myself and what I would like to do in my life, mainly continuing a project which will be a continuation of one which I am organizing in South Seattle, and a continuation of what I focused on in the Philippines. The project in South Seattle is known as “We Are More Than a Zip Code”, which is a mural and documentary that I am organizing with the message being that it is in ‘defense’ of the gentrification occurring and for immigrant communities and communities of color to come together in solidarity. A long term project that has come out of this study abroad and inspired by my own community organizing efforts and role as an artivist in the community, is through documenting different locations’ art scenes, and the stories behind the art. 

Some of the art that I saw, not just in the streets but also in galleries such as the one hosted by the PINTABS group at Philippines Women’s University (PWU), had the messages of artivism. In terms of indigenous rights and artivism combined, I found the space “Oh My Gulay!” in Baguio City to be very beautiful, for the messages of community organizing, bringing artists together, and finding your dwende, all with a vegetarian and vegan menu in the cafe, to be truly magical. It was a very accepting and warm place to be in. I miss this space so much, and I can only think about how great it would be if spaces all around the world, had their own version of Oh My Gulay. It’s just so important for a community to have a place like Oh My Gulay to come to, as you are getting away from the illusions of what a fun time should be in a sense, implemented by colonialism, and a gathering for the ‘outcasts’ of the world, the true truth seekers. Of course, we are all our own version of a truth seeker. In addition, what is so great about the artwork that I oftentimes saw in the Philippines was that not only was it having a strong message against issues such as gentrification and US imperialism, but the farther away you went from the Metro Manila area, such as in Baguio and Mactan Island, the more artwork I saw which had the messages of decolonization and spirituality shown. The Baguio Graffiti reading (Bose, 2002) gave me a better perspective as to Baguio and the mind behind an artist, in this case.

Painting I made earlier in the program

Oh My Gulay

Oh My Gulay

Leaving Baguio City, PI

I would also say that through conversations and own reflection, I began to further question what cultural appropriation looked like amongst people of color. In my case, I always tried to make sure that my mind crossed the line between what the history of the Philippines and Mexico had differently. That although we may have much in common, not just in our histories but also in the evolution of our current cultures and family dynamics, etc, we are a different group of people. Yet through thinking of this, it makes me think about if we continue to separate everyone from each other, instead of working together in solidarity, our groups may not experience the power that comes through organizing together and finding ground. For example, I may not be Palestinian but the Mexican and Xican@ peoples are in solidarity with the Palestinian people especially feeling the pain of being separated by a border and having your land ‘sold/taken away’ by a Western, imperialist nation state. In addition, I just learned to really be grateful for what I have and own, and realize how much privilege and status I hold as a light skinned woman with somewhat Eurocentric features that can be the standard of beauty (straight hair, my light skin, relatively average to tall height at 5’5”, depending on where I am, my relatively straight nose, etc), with a college degree (I have an AA through the Running Start program in WA) and am going for an advanced degree (BA) at a prestigious University in the United States, speaking fluent English. It made me feel so disillusioned at the global, Eurocentric standards of beauty and how people are effected by it when actual Pilipin@s would go up to me if they had a darker skin tone and put their arm next to mine, exclaiming how “ugly and dark” their skin was compared to mine and sadly, enviously glancing at my pale skin. I was so shocked, when men (and women) would make comments towards how ‘beautiful’ my nose was, when theirs was so “ugly” just like a “Pilipin@’s nose was”. The internalized oppression fed by the media was so disappointing that it nearly made me want to cry. Reading Andresen’s article on the “other” (Andresen, 2012), gave me a better perspective as to oppression through the media, and the David and Okazaki article (David and Okazaki, 2006) allowed me to further see the Colonial Mentality Scale presented to Pilipin@s and Pilipin@ Americans.

In addition, I reflected on the overall privilege that we as a group had coming from the United States and having the ability to be living in luxury nearly every day in a “Third World” country such as the Philippines. It was such a culture shock for me seeing everyone get to participate in activities such as getting massages, skin treatments, going to the salon frequently, etc. This is more of a shock for me because simply, I never have time to be ‘pampered’ back home, nor do I have the means to do so. It was the first time that I got a massage, a pedicure, and going to a nightclub in my entire life. Although I was thankful for the experiences and having de-stressed from everyday activities through our study abroad program, I noted just how privileged we were as American college students, staying at such a prestigious university in the Philippines as we experienced the typhoon. Although several of my fellow peers did have the typhoon hit their room, for some of us, including myself, we were relatively untouched by the natural disaster. In my case, I literally slept through the typhoon. I slept through it, when right across the street there was a slum, and hearing about the problems that Typhoon Glenda created for people who didn’t have the ability to stay away from harm. I thought a lot about privilege, in general, throughout this trip, and how people take things for granted back home in the United States.

Beach Resort in Caba, La Union

My other aspects which have been shaped through this trip are through my own interactions with my peers in the group. Although we engaged in ‘educational club hopping’, and I participated several times, I found these ventures to be draining, not only on my academic work but also psyche. As I mentioned before, I had never participated in activities such as these. Not because I never really had an inclination to do so, but because of my lifestyle back home. So it was an interesting experience being able to do so, but I realized in the end that it definitely is not for me. I now know that for sure, I am the type of person who would rather rest and rejuvenate through outings to nature, planning activities, spending time with the ones that I love, etc. As far as any conflicts arising within my group, there weren’t any that I noticed. I found working together with Savannah, Bryan, Louie and Desirée very enjoyable and noted that all of our different personalities complemented everyone else’s very well together. Being able to go out and work with Angelito “Taggsign” Tuazon and Marlowe, the Hip Hop duo we also interviewed in regards to street art in the Philippines, was very enjoyable, as we all sat down later to discuss what our group presentation was going to look like. The topic we chose on street art was first brought up through me mentioning how I got in contact with a street artist, in which case, all of us had an interest in the topic so it was fairly easy to connect and agree on what we wanted to narrow on even more (instead of a broad topic of street art, we discussed art as a form of resistance). We are all leaders in our own ways, so we quickly took on a different part of the presentation and research that we felt most comfortable in interacting with. I loved everyone’s insights and perspectives, and it was a pleasure seeing everyone have such passion towards art as I have. It was easy to find common ground, I feel like.

Overall, what I got out of this study abroad was a clearer understanding on what my future is going to look like, how to delve deeper into the conversations of decolonization and what it means to continuously decolonize, how to fight back US imperialism in different ways, and what it means as a person of color to retain your roots and your true identity without it being influenced by standards placed by ‘industrialized’ nations, desires and colonial mentality. I am excited to connect the artists that I met during my time in the Philippines to my connections in Seattle so that art may continue to be made, how to think more broadly about art as a tool for social change and action, how to reclaim your identity and continuously think about creating spaces for others to feel safe and open up, and more. I thank the CHID Department, Third Andresen and Leah Panganiban for having chosen me for this program and I am excited to see what the future holds for all of us, myself included. This Study Abroad was just the beginning to a new journey which we will all take in our lives.

Works Cited:

Bose, S. (2002). Bagiuo Graffiti. In A.V. Shaw & L.H Francia, Vestiges of war. (pp. 260-67). New York: New York Press.

Andresen, T. (2012). Knowledge construction, transformative academic knowledge, and Filipino American identity and experience, In E. Bonus, E. & D. Maramba, (Eds.) The “other“ students: Filipino Americans, education, and power. Charlotte, NC: IAP.

David, E.J.R., & Okazaki, S. (2006). The Colonial Mentality Scale (CMS) for Filipino Americans: Scale construction and psychological implications: A review and recommendation.
Journal of Counseling Psychology 53 (1), pp. 1–16.